The Nerve of Some People

You know, this week has been unusually rotten. It has been full of conflict and confrontation. Though situations that involve conflict and confrontation don't bother me or scare me, they do exhaust me.

At about 2:00pm this afternoon, I almost just burst into tears for no one reason, but for a combination of about 1122389791 reasons - some job-related, some medical-related, some socially-related. I kept telling myself, "You just gotta make it through one more hour before you can unload the stress of the day(s)." Unfortunately, there is NO privacy in teaching. Little eyes are always on me - watching my every move. So, if I feel stressed, the class feels stressed. If I feel sad, the class feels sad. If I feel nervous, the class feels nervous. You get my drift . . . All emotions in the classroom are shared, and thus it is necessary that I keep it together - that I keep my game face on.

Thank goodness for the invention of email, for it's about the only private way of conversing during the day. And, I'm pretty sure that my wonderful husband should earn a Nobel Peace Prize for his ability to bring sanity to my otherwise chaotic life. Most days, we have an ongoing conversation via email throughout our workdays. As I was feeling more and more beat down today, there was Brian, lifting me up. I love that guy so much!

By the time I got in my car to drive home, my body felt physically wiped out, a feeling reminiscent of my chemo days. And, I know it was just the physical feeling of stress. My class was great today. They usually are. Now, if I could just get the adults to straighten up and behave :)

Tantrum

Today, I had to work late - until 6:30. From 7:45 to 6:30. To you, this may seem like no big deal, but to me, it is. I am SCREAMING inside (and sometimes it seeps out just a smidge).

You see, the field of education is a tricky one. It's deeply flawed if you ask me, or maybe it's just the district for which I work. We (the teachers) are worked like slaves. I can't even count the number of times that people say jabbing remarks like, "Yeah, but you get the summers off. . . Yeah, but you get so many holidays.... Yeah, but you get off at 3:00 ... How hard can it be to teach elementary kids?" Well, folks, the truth is that it can be very hard. Exceptionally hard. Impossible, even.

On some days, I can't stand my job. I love my school and the other teachers who work there. I love my class and all the little personalities that are in it. But, I detest the uncompensated overtime. I wish I did get off at 3:00. I wish I could go to the bathroom whenever I want. I wish I was allowed to do the paperwork that I am required to do during my paid work hours. I wish that the expectations were reasonable and that all children COULD perform at the same level, at the same time, on the same day. But then, well, teaching wouldn't be teaching.

So, I guess I'll dry my tears and paste a smile on my face. Maybe that'll help me get through my training tonight.

Ask, and you shall receive

Well, I gave in to your requests to see my hair. Even though I look rough in these pics, and even though they aren't that great, I didn't want to seem haughty or proud. So, this is me after a day of 2nd graders, after bathing a dog and cleaning up a soiled dog crate, after doing some laundry and watering some plants. So, here is me . . . keeping it real. Look at those curls?

Matthew 7:8 - "For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

Curls, curls go away!

I have been fighting curly hair my entire life. From the time I was a wee lass up until baldness, and especially now. I swore, er uh, promised, since swearing isn't ladylike, that I would just be delighted to have hair once my hair started coming back. I promised that I wouldn't complain or care what it looked like, just as long as I had some. Well, promises are made to be broken, right?

This mop has got to go! My hair is a mess. An absolute fright. On Saturday, I had lots of work to do on the computer, so I kept running my fingers through my hair. Well, by the time evening rolled around, I looked like Screech Powers.

This stuff can't grow fast enough! I have tried drying it, gelling it, mousing it, waxing it, flat ironing it, round brushing it, and it is just hopeless. Completely despicable. I think once it gets a bit more length on it, it will be more manageable, but for the time being, don't expect to see me in any pictures :)

Man's Best Friend

The last few weeks have been interesting. First, it's important to say that I LOVE our new house and neighborhood. It is incredibly peaceful and restful and serene. It feels like a different world to me - a world that is so far removed from the things that can ruin my day and make me grouchy. Though, in the midst of all the wonderful, it's been a bit, well, stressful. This marked the 4th time that poor Brian has moved in about a year and a half (not counting the moving in and out of our old house after the water heater flooded it). And, it was my 3rd time to move in just over 3 years. So, we have boxes from all over. Some have been unpacked and repacked. Some have never been unpacked. And, frankly, I'm not even sure why we continue to lug some of them around. They're nothing but garbage. Even with several moves in close succession, I always seem to forget the rough spots of relocating. I guess I just wash the memories away, only to return when we pick up and move again.

I think that we're starting to feel a little more settled, after 2 1/2 weeks here. It's taken a while for us to get to this point, and there are still moments of chaos and confusion. And, the dogs have been even more reluctant to settle. But, they, too, seem to be resting a bit easier.

I think, after a couple of weeks of holding my breath, it's now time to exhale.

I'll leave you with a few pics of the chaos...

Back in Business!

I think I've finally arrived. I know some say that you never truly do, but I think maybe I have. You know when you get to that moment where you think, "This. This is it. This is life. The life that I've been yearning for." Well, I think that our new home has put me one step closer to that point. Y'all, I've never lived in a more restful, beautiful, magical place.

I love our new home. Sure, it has its quirks. It has some areas that are in need of a little TLC, but on the whole, it is ours, and I adore it.

The pups are happy as little larks, but it is taking some adjustment. It's hard owning four dogs, let alone moving with them. You should try it. You might like it, but I doubt it.

On the whole, we are all happy. In fact, I think this might be the most pleasant drive yet.

The Week from That One Place

In the past 18 months, Brian and I have moved a LOT! 2 months prior to our wedding, we moved his stuff into my house (not him. just his stuff). Then, 2 months after the wedding, we moved all of our stuff into a POD in our driveway after our house flooded due to a lightning strike. Then, 6 months after that we moved out of our house for good and into our current rent house. And now, well, we're moving again.

When Brian's cousin, Alex, was in town this weekend, we thought that we'd be smart and make use of his big muscles. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that we thought it through because now we have no furniture, other than bedroom furniture in our rent house and no bedroom furniture in our new house. I packed up our entire kitchen, save 2 bowls and a fork, and we moved that, too. Then, we ran out of weekend, so we had to stop. Imagine the chaos that we are living in.

This morning, as Brian and I sat on the floor of the living room, eating oatmeal with a fork, we decided that we can't live like this for long, or we're going to go nuts.

But now, as I type this, I can't help but feel that I am being a bit dramatic. I mean, imagine those who have no homes. And, I'm complaining because I have two. Imagine those who have no food. And, I'm griping because I have to eat mine with a fork, rather than a spoon.

Hmmm. It really makes ya think, doesn't it?